The Perfect Verse Guide to your Best Man’s Speech. Five things you should never do!
So…you’ve been asked to be Best Man at your friends wedding. It sounds wonderful. Wine, women, and the chance to embarrass yourself completely.
This is the Perfect Verse tongue in cheek guide to what not to do….
1. Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to deliver a speech if you are completely trolleyed. It will all end in tears. Most likely, the bride’s.
2. Never begin speaking whilst finishing a mouthful of food. This is not an appropriate point in the evening for the bride to be covered in fresh cream.
3. Never use profanity of any description; even if it does form part of your pet name for the groom.
4. Don’t go into lurid detail about the groom’s ex girlfriends. In fact don’t mention them at all. The guests are there to hear that the only woman the groom has ever really loved is sitting beside him, finishing enough food to feed a small continent.
5. Never refer to the bride as ‘the current‘ Mrs Whatever. She won’t find it funny. Neither will her parents; weddings are expensive.
Please feel free to add your own advice.